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Ivan N. Paner

Upper School,

Class 2005-2006

"Southville education thoroughly implements not only academic skills to the students but values and life-skills as well... "read more>>


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Honing One’s Basic Skills in Interpersonal Relationship




There are so many self-help books on management but not so many talk about values viewed from the lens of the "Book of Wisdom" and integrated into the day-to- day affairs of the organization. I am writing this blog to try to share my thoughts, learning, reading and experiences to workers everywhere to reflect on how the organization’s values could make the people become more effective, efficient and productive. How? By improving working relations between co-workers. Studies have shown that problems in the workplace are just borne out of evil in man’s heart. What are the usual evils in the workplace? These are: dishonesty, laziness, corruption, anger, hate and the like. What if the workplace is rid of these? Will the workplace be a happy and productive place to work in? Absolutely, yes!

So, I am writing about values and principles that are timeless such that if the reader internalizes and applies these to his or her daily work life, evil will be defeated and positive attitude will thrive.

The first set of values that I am going to expound is about "Honing one’s basic skills in interpersonal relationship”.

Why does one need to hone his or her basic skills in interpersonal relationship? Because we work in an organization. We don’t work in our own farm lot where we can be alone and still be self-reliant and self-sufficient. An organization comprises a number of elements and its success is dependent on the relationships of these elements. If the relationships are healthy, the organization wins; if not, the organization disintegrates. Thus, if we want our organization to win, we need to hone our basic skills in interpersonal relationships.

Since what we need to hone are just the basic skills, I have come up with three simple ways to do this. There is no rocket science or profound Psychological concept to achieve this but just the basic human ways. These are the following:

1. Look Cheerfully

If you look at everyone’s eyes cheerfully, no doubt that it is contagious. The key is eye contact. You are only able to pass on your positive attitude to the next person through eye contact. 

2. Smile Generously

Another thing that is contagious is a smile. Try smiling at anyone you meet and chances are, you get reciprocated 99 percent of the time. Add to that, smile is cheap. It doesn’t take so much to do it, so why not be generous in sharing it?

3. Speak Encouragingly

If one finds positive things to say to the other person, there will be no misunderstanding and conflict. I believe that the key to healthy relationships is on the delivery of the message. We should endeavor to think well about our message before we deliver it. Oftentimes, careless and harsh words create more damage than physical assault.

   The reason why I believe that the above behaviors would work is because it has been tried and tested since the ancient times. The wisest man who ever lived said it succinctly in the Book of Wisdom, "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health (Proverbs 15:30, New Living Translation)."

Good news is when one speaks encouragingly. And it makes for good health. Science could prove that a lot of diseases are caused by anxiety, depression and negativity. So, let us make each one in the organization healthy, let us look cheerful, smile generously and speak encouragingly.